9 martie 2012

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Ieri la lucru a intrat in birou o doamna in varsta cu care am povestit putin si pot spune ca m-am imprietenit. De ce mi-e draga aceasta femeie intr-un timp atat de scurt? Este pentru ca in cei 75 de ani traiti, timpul nu a acrit-o cum a acrit foarte multe femei abia ajunse la 30 de ani, un lucru pe care eu il admir avand in vedere greutatile acestei vieti.

Imi aduce aminte de strabunica mea care s-a stins din viata in 2006 la 94 de ani. Eu impreuna cu mama, am iubit-o pe acea femeie extraordinara mai mult ca orice alt membru al familiei. Intotdeauna m-am intrebat care era oare secretul ei incat nu a lasat viata sa o acreasca.... O femeie mai calda si plina de iubire ca strabunica mea nu am mai intalnit, iar doamna aceea care m-a vizitat si m-a invitat la ea acasa, pe mine, o necunoscuta, mi-a adus aminte ca timpul nu iti lasa neaparat un gust amar in gura...

Intalnind aceasta doamna, imi da speranta ca poate nu toate femeile ajung amare la fel ca buniciile chiar si mamele multor cunostinte...

Adevarul este ca timpul ne sperie pe toti. Multe femei sunt de-a dreptul ingrozite de batranete, de aparitia firelor albe, riduri, de corpul deformat dupa o sarcina grea, de faptul ca intr-un final copii vor pleca la facultate si vor incepe viata lor proprie... lucru care se poate intampla chiar si mai devreme cum am parasit eu casa parinteasca la 16 ani... intr-un final tot singuri ajungem, iar singuratatea este spaima tuturor.

Strabunica mea a trait 94 de ani si s-a uitat cum toti oamenii dragi din jurul ei se duc pe capete, iar pe ea a lasat-o in urma...  Inca un lucru care ne inspaimanta, cel putin pe ea ani de zile a intristat-o foarte mult.... Dar orice am face si oricat de mult ne-am zbate in aceasta viata, avem o singura destinatie cu totii...

Si ca tot vorbim de batraneti, am si eu o intrebare la care eu inca nu am putut sa raspund: Ce ai prefera? Sa mori tu primul, sa fi egoist sa te scutesti de insuportabila singuratate si suferinta dupa ce persoana cu care ti-ai petrecut intreaga viata s-a dus inaintea ta sau sa se duca ea prima pe lumea cealalalta ca sa o scutesti de singuratatea si suferinta care va urma dupa ce vei parasi aceasta lume pentru ca sti ca nu poate trai fara tine...? Eu sincer nu am gasit un raspuns la aceasta intrebare...

Un lucru stiu sigur: indiferent cat de nesigur poate fi viitorul, prezentul este acela care ar trebui sa il traim, sa luptam pentru un viitor mai bun si sa fim mai intelepti din greselile si trairile din trecut... Iar anii trec atat de repede, inevitabil viata isi va lasa cicatricile, iar toata lumea te va putea citi dupa riduri, iar eu cred ca asta este defapt spaima multor femei; ca nu se mai pot ascunde in spatele unei masti....

Bucurativa in fiecare clipa de persoana de langa voi si nu lasati ca rautatiile acestei lumi sa va transforme intr-o persoana amara si rece. Viata e scurta! Haideti sa o traim din plin!

2 comentarii:

  1. Age. Is it just a state of mind? Yes until, for many of us, as old as the 80th year. After the 80th birthday is the time I notice the bodies of all of us, if healthy until then, begin to give out. Until then attitude really, really matters - finding ways to see the good, walk in the light instead of the darkness is important! Not always easy - we all have darkness but ... keep moving to the light ...

    How to survive longer? Simple be happy. The more one is focused on pain and sadness and the past the shorter and sadder life can be. Leave behind things you can not change, accept what has happened, no matter wherever you find yourself today ... then live to make tomorrow better than today .. one day at a time.

    Find real friends to hold dear - but real ones who will both love you unconditionally AND will also care enough to tell you when you are being foolish, or stupid or allowing yourself to live different from who you are. A real friend wants nothing but for you to be the best human you can be.

    Going first into death - I think of it as situation based, it a lot does depend on health. I would always want to live longer to have her avoid the pain of my absence, I know I could be alone and still find ways to be happy - even in grief. UNLESS I became so hard to care for it began to take a toll on her. In other words only way I would want to go first is if it was in fact the best thing for her - either I am sick, or holding her back from continuing with life, or having another chance at finding a different happiness. If it is "time" for me to let go, so she can move on then I would wish to go first.

    I know a friend who lost the total (50+ years) love of his life at ~75 and never thought of anything other than grief. He went downhill, barely wanting to eat - wheelchairs and the whole "end of life is almost here" behavior. Then by chance he ran into a woman, someone he had known years and years ago. Magically, they found a spark, his health improved dramatically (he had a new reason to live!) and he is now in his late 80's and LIVES loudly every day - so you never know.

    I knew another couple who when they got married after long happy marriages and becoming widow and widower (at 74(she) 82 years (he)- they told me stories of everyone telling them they were acting like foolish children - how could they talk of "being in love" at their age!

    Well when I met them he was 102 and she was 94 and they were celebrating 20 years together! And far happier than some couples I know in their 40's or 50's.

    Life has a way of being able to continue to give you joy as long as you are willing to let it.

    1. My friend, your words always put a smile to my face :)

      Love has no age, no limits. A good friend said once "The sky is the limit, and most of the times not even that" so why not love even when old? Unconditional love is the best thing that can happen, especially when it's sent and received back...